I'd had my skin checked a few years prior, when a mark appeared on my ear during my first pregnancy!
I was referred to a dermatologist who gave me the 'all clear' and told me it was just 'pregnancy pigmentation! 2 years went by and I was pregnant again with my 2nd child, the mark on my ear started to get a bit darker and bigger yet in my head I just thought it was pregnancy pigmentation again.
It was December 2017, and my friends mum was diagnosed with melanoma, I thought to myself its been a while since I last got my skin checked and thought I should book in again, not thinking anything of any marks, or spots on my body that had changed other than my 'pregnancy pigmentation'! by the time I got into a new dermatologist my daughter was 12 months old.
I walked into my dermatologist head held high, thinking it would be nothing! She didn't like the look of the pigmentation on my ear, however also thought it would be 'nothing' - a scrape biopsy was taken of my ear and I thought that's where it would end. However, an agonizing 2 weeks later I got the call to say the results were unclear and that I would have to go in to the Melanoma Institute for a further biopsy.
I was now under the care of Professor Saw at the Melanoma Institute at RPA! As I anxiously walked into the first appointment with my husband by my side, I was told that part of my earlobe would have to be removed so they could send it for further testing! I had local anesthetic and a few hours later I had a huge chunk of my earlobe removed! see you later to earrings!
As I left full of disbelief, shock and nerves I had the agonizing 2 week wait again to see what pathology would say! I then received the phone call no one wants to hear! "your biopsy results came in, and unfortunately it is melanoma!' I dropped to the floor, screaming and crying in shock of the unknown!
The unknown of what melanoma was?
The unknown of what treatment I would need?
The unknown of what were the next steps?
The unknown of will I survive this?
The list went on of the unknowns and my anxiety began! I was back in for surgery the following day, where I had to have my whole ear lobe removed in order to have the best chance of getting 'clear margins' The local this time was intense, local injections into already very sore and raw skin, in order to numb my whole ear, and half of my face! Although the surgery was short, it's always a whole day ordeal in the hospital with multiple doctor screenings, consent forms, waiting, recovery the list goes on!
I walked out with my ear all wrapped up and more unknowns (what would it look like? would I need further plastic surgery? I was offered corrective surgery of my other ear to I'd look symmetrical, would I want this? would it look that bad that i was being offered this type of surgery?)….
As the days went on, I couldn't sleep, I was in pain, I was nervous, my head was racing with the what ifs, the unknowns, the downward spiraling...
The day had come to remove the bandages and see the damage of the ear lobe removal! as I pulled the bandages off, tears streamed down my face, of the life I had once known, the careless, free life that before a melanoma diagnosis was! Having had 2 babies I was already covered in scars, stretchmarks and loose skin, so having an uneven ear or scar of my ear didn't phase me! but the shock of seeing my ear and face for the first time is still something I won't ever forget!
As the weeks went on and the 2 week wait rolled around, I got the phone call to say these new margins were clear! I fell to the floor again, crying but tears of relief!
I was naïve to think the journey would be over then, but for one split second I felt like it would all be ok.
From that moment on I was on 3 month skin checks, alternating between my dermatologist and Melanoma professor at RPA ! Between my first skin check in January 2018, and my next 3 month skin check the time went by so fast!
1 biopsy, 2 surgeries, lots of stitches, no swimming (in the middle of summer) 4 weeks of waiting for results between surgeries, and the time had come to have another check!!!!
This was my new norm.